My 1st DR exposure...

Capping, Pinning & Candle Lighting...

NakZ!!! guys! Im posting it now!!! At Last!!! hehehe...


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Hi!!! Ahmmm maybe it's not too late to add somethin' in here... Eeeeh...That space below is so small for my pix..obviously hehe...so lemme use more space..hehe 'nyways its my page right?! Haha...Here it is!!! =)
Ohh my! Jee! My cam's battery are so much low now! Ohh...so bad...surely next time i'L gonna post that pix huh...hehe...buhbye for now!!!
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(Reserved Space for Pix)






I'm tired for now... I just wanna sleep...
Hit yah back soon! Mmmmmwah

Half-baked happy new year...

I was born in the year of the Rat & some people said that I would be so lucky this year... Maybe in some point I am but on the other hand, I'm not... Yesterday, I was encoding for a project inside while manang N-jing (my older sis/ Pj's mom) was cooking in the kitchen together with my Aunt Gina who just arrived from their town... All were so busy while the four kids (my little sis, my two very little cousins & my 3-yr-old nephew Pj) were also busy playing outside... When suddenly PJ cried so loud and so all got panic... PJ broke his right arm for climbing somewhere else...... He's currently in the hospital... Earlier, the doctor said that he needed operation... Things that 11 years ago flashed back into my mind- when my sister manang Jeje/Jackie Lou told me in my dreams with that very pathetic voice.. "I ask for water but they didn't gave me..." the day after she died... She died after the operation... I'm afraid of somethin' ryt now honestly..so much...

Hmmm... Guess whom I've met this afternoon in the hospital... He approached me right after I asked for the new x-ray result to the other nurse... I never forget his face of course... We talked for a while but I really forgot his name... Things that I'm very sure is that he's one of my cool classmates in elementary??? I think so. LOL. He's now one of those nurses who took good care of Pj...

Under the rain...

Exactly 7:30 in the morning when I stepped down from that maroon bus after a half an hour travel from Panabo. The weather was cold and it’s raining. Good thing I brought with me my umbrella… FYI, we’re only allowed to bring a long and black umbrella for special purposes, most especially during the Community Service or when conducting surveys and surely all nursing students knew it…

That was the second day of my first community exposure… I’m a bit excited as I can see that well-landscaped and of good location Canocotan Barangay Health Center that was about 15-20 meters away from me then … Only to find out that it was closed… ‘Ohh God, I was left behind again… =s’ I thought they’re already in the field that causes me to worry and doubt, ‘Am I late again?’ But how can that be? I arrived 3O minutes before the time!!! Huhuhu… Then I suddenly think ‘bout what happened the day before that (1st day of CS) -I got back home so early for my CI haven’t accept me for being late for more than 15 minutes and was marked ‘ABSENT’… Ohh so disgusting!!!

Later a white car parked and came out the tall guy in nursing uniform with his light yellow jacket. He’s our Clinical Instructor (CI)… It’s the 2nd time that I saw him since I enrolled on that nursing school. He came over and so I greeted and smiled at him and so he did as well… I know what’s on his mind, it’s all ‘bout the day before…

We stayed in front of the health center’s gate and stood there for couple of minutes, talking, talking and talking… Take note, he got no umbrella but I didn’t offer mine and really mean it!!! Blamed be the bitch in me… he he he

We waited for the next person to come but still nobody did and so he asked and looked for a shed… We both trudge that muddy trace of narrow way going to that shed and then he spoke again, “this is exactly what you’ll face on your COPAR next year-layers of mud” and so I said ‘ It’s okay, we're into it…’ and he smiled…

We finally reached the shed and he started asking apologies for what had happened when there’s no need for that. Of course it’s my fault and he’s just following the rules… “I know you’re mad at me… If it’s only me, I’ll give you considerations…”, he said. Oh my..he even didn’t hear my reasons… 'nyway, it’s all done & it's my fault. He he he… It’s just that I spent money looking for that area with the attire and everything…LOL and I have to make up duty for 3 days in my hospital duty next year accordingly, but not quite sure... =S “..somehow, that would be an advantage on your part for additional training, right?!” he added...

We really had a nice talk and I found out that he as well is a 2nd courser. He finished accountancy as his first course and then took up nursing… Now he’s teaching and at the same time practices his profession in one of the big hospitals in the city…

We talked a lot and learned a lot from each other… It’s kinda lecture in advance…LOL. Then the bitch started to talk inside me, ‘this can’t be, it’s now past 8am and still they haven’t arrived… they must be marked absent too…’ LOL

Then amidst the silence Sir spoke, “Maybe they are still preparing food for the children…” Oh God, I felt so useless, but I received no text messages from them… FYI it’s the only time that I belonged to this group and I haven’t got their mobile number… ‘Do they have my number too?’ that’s that big question… Then again Sir broke the silence and said, “don’t worry, I guess all you have to do is to pay, for the group decided to divide the expenses yesterday… (Wow, what is he? Is he a psychic or something?) haha…

Then he added, “During your Psychia class, you’ll be exposed in mental hospital and you should know how to read and understand their actions…” Oh, that would be so exciting I guess as I’ve read the book in advance, hoping that I won’t go crazy with ‘em then… Later we went back to the health center for the OIC arrived… We sat and waited outside then finally my classmate's car parked in and came out all of 5 of them, and so I asked for apologies but then one of them said, “No, it’s really not a big job and plus the fact that we haven’t informed you…” and the rest seconded… I breathe then…

We went to the area and gathered those children… Giving some healthy activities, healthy foods, vitamins, etc. We also check the blood pressure of the elders and gave some health advice… Is this really my calling??? I really found difficulties in some medical terms and procedures but it really feels good to serve...

Now, we only have a half day duty and that's why I'm here... I have loved my job… I learned a lot. We learned a lot and I already love my groupmates… Plus, the more I appreciate my sister Junnelyn (manang jo)...

We’re all 2nd coursers in our class. We’re the 15th Batch of 2nd coursers in that school. Hoping that we’ll make it ‘til the end together… I am really hoping for that….In God’s help… =)

night-smear:NIGHTMARE!!!

‘twas around 11:30 in the evening last night when I resumed from some crazy warm-up with Disco Music right after shower… (Assuming that mama’s asleep to avoid her words of caress- ‘..that is! That is! You’re abusing your self! (blah blah blah)’ . To tell you guys, it’s gettin’ hot in here!!! Then Kitchie Nadal’s Same Ground played and ‘just caught my self thinking of the moments I spent with someone in my past fantasy world… But, before that music fade-out, change of emotions fade-in, for I know what’s next on my playlist… Eeehh... It’s Shakira’s Whenever Wherever. Aha...

Every thing’s prepared and I’m very much ready to bed but it seems like my ears still wanna be with my headphones ‘til full and so I went to bed and maximized the volume and put ‘em beside my pillow to avoid some ear problems… As I’ve told you ‘I’m still a parasite’ of this place and so to lessen that title, after listening to Spice Girls’ 2 become 1, I preferred to say ‘Nytie!’ to my Rei Ayanami Winamp’s skin… ;-p (low tech suppremed)

I switch ‘em off and just relied on more or less 10m away neighbor’s rays of florescent light passing through my single slightly opened window on the left side of my li'l bed. Everything’s off (except for my old electric fan) but I could still hear the music..and fall asleep… Smear..smear..smearZzz… Zzz… I just suddenly felt like I’m inside a box..woohw! How can that be? ..When I’m too big for that?! Wew! Somebody put me in!!! I thought it was just a joke at first but it’s no longer kinda thing like that for I felt like he really tied that box..and so I called my evil bro’s name as he was my suspect but then I suddenly realized.. ‘How can he come inside my room when I locked-up the door???’ Then a voice answered, ‘uhmmm’. Hey hey hey!!! You guys won’t believe me, it’s my sister’s voice – a sister whom we lost due to hit and run accident occurred on Oct. 17, 1996 in front of GAP Farm and died Oct. 19, 1996 just few hours after the operation… And, so I fought it all, woke-up and grasp my mobile phone (it’s already 3:20 am). I still wanna sleep but I can’t, thinking ‘bout such thing… I almost forgot the day and so I made a prayer…

I then proceed to my table and grasp a cup of boiled Lagundi (it was cold then) since I’m trying to stay away from my rotacap and rotahaler as I can… I suddenly grasp my book and thought of something… How ‘bout posting an entry for today??? And so I started to right ‘em and save ‘em on my disk… (I still don't have the connection) he he he
Blessed be the cafe'.. ;-p
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Lagundi (vitexnegudo)
5 leaveschaste tree (Engl.)
Kamalam (Tag.) Dabtan (lf)
Limo-limo (llk.) Molave aso (Sul)
• Tugas (Ceb)

A shrub growing wild in vacant lots and waste land. Matured branches are planted. The flowers are blue and bell-shaped. The small fruits turn black when ripe. It is better to collect the leaves when are in bloom.
Uses:
Asthma, cough and fever – boil chopped raw fruits or leaves in 2 glasses of water left for 15 minutes until the water left in only 1 glass (decoction).
Reference:Philippine Health Nursing of the Philippines. pp 324-325

Can't hear him cried for help...

He stood as a father to Jesh since birth -a good father. I am not supposed to tell you this but I think it will help…

Passed 1 o’clock in the afternoon, Monday of this week when I went to Villa Funeral Homes, right after knowing that Uncle Bebot passed away due to heart failure the night before... His body wasn’t there anymore and so I proceed to their home…

I went upstairs and I saw Jesh approaching… She looked so wan and pathetic. She hugged me so tight telling, “‘la na si papa best, sala jud nako ni tanan…” (She’s blaming her self for the lost of her father). I can feel her chest quickly moving back-and-forth… It’s a burst of agony that I couldn’t help but to release my feelings… I’ve felt that way before and I really really hate it…

“If only I didn’t left him downstairs, maybe he’s still alive...He told me that he can’t ease to see mama crying… He told me that he loves me and mama so much but he can’t allow himself to reach the dawn. He’s loaded with alcohol but definitely not drunk at all… I forced him to just relax and sleep but he shouted and told me to just leave him alone. I never thought he’ll really do that… It’s so unfair, he’s just watching my steps…Just steps…” Jesh said.

Even I, can not believe that he can do that thing… He’s a strong father as I’ve known him since high school. Aunt and he treated me as their 2nd daughter.

Jesh immediately went down after hearing that kinda big thing quickly hit the floor… Then she saw him kneeled with a rope passing through that wood tied on his neck and the other side was tied on his hands, seemed held so tight and pulled strongly... Jesh tried to save him and called out for help but things went helpless…

According to Jesh that she just arrived that night (She’s working in Davao City for the whole weekdays). She admitted that they’re really of great financial problems lately, “..all were sold out.”.

Lemme just share it:

“The person who attempts self-destruction is involved in an intense emotional and psychological struggle concerning an overwhelming frustrating life situation. The suicidal act is the final and the most desperate attempts have been recognized as motivated by the desire to attract attention to the person’s distress and need for help rather than by deep-seated self-destructive impulses. By his actions, the individual may get the assistance and emotional supports he needs from relatives and friends because they arouse feelings of anxiety, guilt, and fear of what may happen to the patient. They may bring about changes in the life situation which help to resolve the patient’s overwhelming problem.”

-Manfreda & Krampitz: Dynamics of Suicide. Psychiatric Nursing 10th Edition, p. 282.

He ended his life but their problems weren’t solved plus the legacy of pain… Things are so unfair…

Just like you maybe or any other individuals, I also almost reach that madness several times during my younger years… But, moments didn’t allow things to happen… The reason behind!? To let me see how wonderful life is..- that I’ve been given a chance to share something unto you..now….

Life is precious and happened only once…

Soul Searching

I was in grade four when I left my good grandparents’ rustic place in where I stayed since I was 7 (with Manang Je-R.I.P due to hit & run, and Manang N-jing). My family is no longer residing on that compound then but papa is still working on that world-wide distributor agricultural company as a member of its security forces. And,currently, he's still there for almost 34 years this September according to mama...

Obviously, I’m a transferee on that public school in where I first saw Jeshyll… I used to see her with that white towel wrapped in her left hand and it seemed like she’s ready to give punch anytime and anywhere… He he he… I still don’t know her name then. It just so happened that we entered the same school in high school and both avail the Drum and Bugle Corps -DBC scholarship on that University.

She’s so open to everyone while I’m kind of aloof that time… c”.) Somehow it’s the works of art I think that bind our souls together despite some arguments and adjustment at first… =I

She made me play the guitar and even tried to bring me to the world of sports. She’s one of the University’s most outstanding players. She played basketball, softball, etc. while I’m a loser..nakz!! I just can’t do good the way she did, but still she’s proud of telling that I am her best friend =’) as I am very proud of her too.

We’re turning 15 when she encouraged me to join military world.. Her real father (R.I.P.) was a soldier and my father tried to be a soldier once...another thing in common right?! Bwehehehe… It’s not CAT nor ROTC. It’s a Ready Reserve Battalion-RRBn in where we met Kuya Norman-a father and a nurse, Kuya Fata- a former MNLF Intelligence and Ate Cecile- a courageous teacher. They were such good classmates and they protected us for the whole duration of the training. I really had no idea regarding that matter at first… All I knew is that there would be lots of adventures waiting…Aiek!!!

Minors are not allowed and so we signed a waiver that was attested by a judge. REAL CRAZzzz that I answered, “Death is Everywhere.” as the judge asked my father what if I die… ehehehehe while mama kept on telling me at home, “..that will be your death!!!” which was exactly what I wanted…My own death…lol. (FYI, I was a suicide bomber...JOKE!!!) =p it’s just that.. ahh..I just wanna prove something to my self… =)

Friendship became stronger… Amidst all my weaknesses, she still believes in my potentials… We aimed and survived… Graduates declared-1 Reserve Officer, 125 Reservist Enlisted Personnel and 42 Supernumeraries (including me and Jeshyll) of Delta “provisional” Coy, 1112th (DN) RRBn, 111th (Eagle) RID, XI, PA after having satisfactory completed the training requirements and prescribed Program of Instruction for Organizational Training conducted by 1102 (DN) Community Defense Center, 11th Regional Community Defense Group, Army Reserve Command, Philippine Army. Whehey! We just wonder why others got higher ranks when we undergone the same hell? Haha…

I still remember when we had our SURVIVAL. I was the guide of our team (next to the team leader based on Small Unit Tactics-SUT). We crossed a very wide river… Rocks trapped me in the middle of that strong current of muddy water. Bullets came over us and my buddy had no other choice but to save her self… I was left behind… Whatta guide!!! I’m useless… Live bullets made their own fountains next to me… I tried my best to get out of the river and tried to proceed but, it’s so muddy way up hill!!! Nakz! After that almost 6 hours of marching (including running, dropping, laughing, camouflaging, blah blah blah) going to that search area with only candies and water inside our stomach, I felt like I’m..wheow! Wheow! Wheow! Oxygen please…lol.

Pratatatatatat!!! (surrounded me) and I can see our CO ( Capt. Alpetche) then while I was hiding and I bet he’ll gonna see me!!!huhuhuhu and so I made a decision…, “GOD I quit!!!” when somebody laid his hand and yes, I grabbed it! And so he pulled me up into where he hides…It’s Scout Ranger Oztrea… Ohh my cutie savior!!! Toink! Ehehee one of those “pratatatatat” came from him I know……He smiled and said, “Don’t tell anyone ‘bout this…” and I knew it… (sshhh..I'm it now..nakz!) He’s one of our AI’s then.

I still remember when he asked me one time during the formation, “It is okay to your boyfriend that you joined this training?” and I answered, “Sir, yes Sir!” when the fact is that I really have NO boyfriend then..ehee

--> Back to SURVIVAL
I can see my team next to me and I’m so happy!!! Later I heard the platoon leaders’ command, “DROP!!!” followed by “Men, magkanya-kanyang buhay na tayo!!!” Whhhat?! Nakz!!! Gago jud!! Nataranta na pud si fafa!!! Ohh men! It’s the bullets again!!! Mommy!!!

I can feel that sharp grasses buried on my skin but I must hide my presence (camouflage). Impose discipline…discipline… discipline… That’s the deal… li’l mistake or I’ll die… Of course they won’t kill us but it’s no joke! Those are real live M16 A1 rifle’s bullets and I can feel them almost kissing my left ear… Tsong! Tsong! Tsong! That’s how it sounds like when it’s near to your ears but not exactly… No worries..I bite a piece of wood to keep my mouth open then…

Crawl when bullets shut-up. Pause when bullets shout. I felt like burning inside and out! I felt like I’m dying that I called almost all angels and saints! Nakz! I’m all catching my breath! That’s the time that I understand how soldiers feel amidst a real battle… To all soldiers out there! Sir, I SALUTE YOU Sir!!!

--> Back to rankings
Jesh and I traced it up. The one who got the highest rank (Reserve 2nd Lieutenant, Philippine Army) had already completed his profession and his 4yr ROTC- including basic ROTC (Military Science 11-22), Military Science 23 ( ROTC Summer Camp Training-RSCT), Advance ROTC (Military Science 32-42). The rest completed their professions while Jesh and I were just poor high school students! Nakz! PRIVATE kayo ang drama bayot!!! ‘nyways, everything is fair. No special treatment at all.
Did I say hell? Ohh…my mistake.. How would call a discipline that you gained plus the services rendered to your fellow men- helping those victims of flood, assist during blood-letting, community health care extension services, etc… Yah, I felt like I’m a General!!! Wew! Toink! Eheheh… Nothing can replace that experience and it’s a great challenge on our age…

Jesh and I separated lives in college…I stepped Davao City (just an hour travel from Panabo) and grabbed the chance to explore and differentiate Ready Reserve Force from Standby Reserve Force-ROTC.

It’s kinda just the same but very different! Hah! I just can’t explain… All were great!!! I finished my Basic ROTC in where I met Rakel ( a sistah not by blood whom I've shared the AWL, etc...nakz! She's so clever!!!). I also took RSTC in where I was given a chance to see his real color for better or for worst! Naks! I’m referring to a person whom I hated for a year of merging to there ROTC unit (since my original unit was dissolved). Together with my other senior officers, I’m just also a cross-enrollee to their university. He’s the first person who made me do this “Ahahahahaha!” when supposedly I used to laugh just this way “eheeeheeee”. Naks! I never thought..tough and strict disciplarian Senior Officer transformed into a funny, naughty, charismatic RSCT batch (it's not because of me of course for obviously, guys won't have any urge of wanting me.. it's just that maybe he's really like that to all girls that he became batch in his previous training...) Tiny balls of paper on my back that he put inside my shirt every time I got irritated –thing that I won’t forget ‘bout him..and how ‘bout this – HE Says: Judith, did your mama know already? I say: Huh? (means: know ‘bout what?) HE says: ..that your mouth’s bubbling. (I was brushing my teeth then) He’s real crazy! FYI: We’re only 3 representatives from our unit then (a batch by class whom I cared so much, my senior officer and I) for some of our batch already took that training (as a requirement to proceed to a higher class) while the rest had some conflicts with their schedule. This was the tandem- my senior officer was the planner and I’m the critic! Lol. Here’s the real thing – he’s the planner and my protector and had no other choice but to hold and press my shoulders sometimes just to guide me. Haha… I am really that hard-headed... I still remember when he suffered from runny-nose and asked me a favor to buy medicine and juice for him (we’re given permission to go beyond the barrier then) and so I took his steel container and brought it with me outside and sshhh..I let my buddy drink from it..bwehehe..he didn’t knew it ‘til now..wahhahaha.. And, I put so much ice on it and can’t wait!!! I went back inside the training ground and proceed near men’s barracks in where he waited. He took the container saying, “Ice?! You put some ice on it?” oh men! If could only see his face then! Haha… My soul laughed once again as I used to do every time he receives punches on the rank before-when I was still mad at him..it's just that I simply don't like him at first plus the crazy reason that rooted from just a simple family name… He witnessed how damn I am and kept on saying “Oh Judith, Judtih, Judith..you’re such..hmmp…” and quickly wrapped and rubbed my face with his palm! He’s always doing that! I really don’t know where part of the Earth did he got the courage of doing that to me! ‘mind you, I’m a real bitch unto him! Yet, he’s smiling still and sshhh..I love his teeth..eheee… I know he’s just controlling his temper on me..heeeheee… Yah, we saw each other everyday from dawn ‘til late at night but we only talked every admin break since reshuffle on platoon and team members was made to avoid some faction among Community Defense Center – CDC’s… But, we’re all still crazy together-things that I will treasure forever… and sshhh...he seemed like an angel, sleeping while I sat next to him... (We're on the grandstand then, during admin break...He's so tired that time...) And, everytime he got punished, I felt like I wanna hug him and I really don't know why... nakz!!! Things happened for a purpose that somehow helped us in a long run…. After all, I knew where to stand and surely got the deal- When RSCT starts, junior-senior treatment ends. When RSCT ends, junior- senior treatment resumes… Military Courtesy and Discipline (MCD) must always be kept in mind. I just don’t know what’s eating our male RSCT classmates for having this joke.. as my ex-buds told me based on what she heard…

Cdt 1: (expression of gayness) I really like our Corps Commander… He’s so cute!
Cdt 2: (expression of gayness) Oiesst… You’re hopeless…
Cdt 1: And why?!
Cdt 2: Someone owned him…
Cdt 1: Who?
Cdt 2: It’s Judith!
(and so my ex-buds interrupted)
Ex-buds: Hoy… FYI, Judith is just his junior officer…

Real crazy right?! Of course someone owned him I guess..but definitely not me... =0

Supposedly, he took that training ahead of me but some delayed occurred and believe me, I felt a bit nervous at first when they told me that he’ll be my batch in RSCT but suddenly bitch’s spirit came and said, “ Judith… This will be the right time to playback…” Vengeance that turned to sympathy in a later run and it was also then that I found out why most girls fall for him aside from his bearing and leadership -leadership that even tagged him as the RSTC Class-03 2003 Battalion Commander in every special formation (since a regular formation followed routines) among those 137 Cadet Officers from different schools and provinces of the whole Region XI, leadership that I discovered more when he brought me one time to his high school Alma Mater to bring back the copy of that Instructional Package (IP) fact sheets (FYI: We’re given the passes then for one day only, so we went Davao City together with our co-officers on the same CDC to process our IP). I never thought that we could be group mates once again… Thanks to IP! Lol. (On his Alma Mater) I can testify how those junior officers rendered love and respect unto him -being an alumnus CAT Corps Commander. Haha… He’s a bit busy that time so he asked a favor, “Kindly hold it for a while (His referring to his phone) and just reply what ever you wanted if somebody text…”(His referring to our classmates). Later he asked, “Do you already have my number?” I answered “No…” and so he gave it telling “If you have some problems, just text me…”

--> BACK TO RSCT
RSCT hit the finish line. Regular ROTC days resumed but this time I’m on my Advance ROTC. And of course, deal imposed… We no longer have the kind of conversations that we used to do during RSCT… Each of us got back to the real world as expected… Calm bitch handled things smoothly at first but unexpectedly, real bad stuff made some ride. Serious depression attacked me. I’m losing my purpose… So crazy that I even didn’t take my final exams!!!! Naks! I was defeated by my emotions… I need to cure my heart and badly need a place for my soul… I also left ROTC which became my life and second family for almost 3 years in college.

I stepped out of my boarding house and went back Panabo. Mama suffered stroke on her retina... Papa who seemed so tough became emotionally weak. Eldest sister who aimed to save the family from poverty had no choice and was on her way of living
the country for a source of living. A brother was still in misery. Third sibling got back home with a broken promise to the family and one day we had a silent fight… I really really don’t know where to run… It’s only my naughty, cutie, hyper, very li’l sister who hugged me even without knowing what’s behind the tears that she dried up while newly met younger cousins who were sent to us for custody by their drunken master father were just speechless (I’m waxing the flour then)… Nakz! Drama effect keu!!! Haha…

I need to escape and so I took an offered job without thinking. I was assigned and sent back to Davao City . I still planned to go back school and so I told them ahead of time. Everything’s clear but suddenly came the broken deal. Another batch of stress, pressures, and discriminations were all I got. It’s only my diary who’s with me then…I tried to ease all those things ‘til I got tired. Since then, I stepped in and out of school, tried to neither get some good stuff sometimes nor just go with flow… I just finished a course with a half-baked soul when my poor family supported me by all means…

I lost ROTC but a good friendship grew between me and Loreen… We’re of the same age. She’s also a Mass Communication student whom I shared with lots of emotions and simply naughty girly stuff (esp. meeting new friends online together, hiking for kilometers, talking ‘bout guys while watching the sunset in the seashore, respecting still each other’s secrecy...) We call each other Sai…
…………
Jesh got her degree almost 2 years ahead of me and continue to her world with Crixia. Sai is still trudging her way to success after all those tears... Rakel is now in Kuwait, practising her profision..while I lost my determination and just end up nothing… I’m still living with my parents, setting in front of this computer but still we don’t have the internet connection… I’ll be in a net café later to surf something for my projects so maybe I can also post this if I still have time..whehehe… The whole family will be using this PC… Yah, I’m still a parasite...

Things changed a lot… I am now a 101% bitch while Jeshyll and Sai remained angels for me even without hearing and seeing each other lately… And I think Rakel is partly..nakz! She's an Angel too... =)

FYI: Jesh, Sai, I and Rakel too (eventhough she has her duty on a hospital then) were all Godmothers to my nephew… Jesh got her special someone. Sai got her special someone too-her partzy who’s my co-officer in ROTC before. Rakel is still loveless but is full of admirers. And, I got my family and friends, and took the opportunity that was given to me by my eldest sister (in 1 condition: NO boyfriend for the whole duration of my studies…lol.) -to be just like her someday. Amen.


Additional Info: Last year, while I had my OJT in Avantgarde Productions (Sir Jap's office), my senior officer and I saw each for the 2nd time since I left the unit! Bwehehehe… It just so happened that his mother’s office and that media outlet were both located in just 1 street in Davao City . Nakz!!! He is more of a manhood feature now… Still, he’s tall, fair and handsome (and happy with his love life I guess)…;-p He’s my diary - the diary in where I wrote all frustrations, anxieties, trauma, etc., (except secrets) that I encountered each day... He knew how much I’ve hated and loved while somebody owned him… He knew much I’m afraid of a commitment… He knew how I forgot and loved again (but unfortunately in the world of fantasy) that he told me once, “Why would you trust a person who’s million miles a way from you?”, surely he got the point but I kept loving still and got hurt again… Naks! ’til I realized lately… What if what he mean by “If you have some problems, just text me…” is the possible problems regarding that Instructional Package-IP… Nakz! Real crazy!!! I’m so… Oh my… =s and maybe that’s why I seldom received a response from him… Gush… I really just can’t afford to see him again… (but will always be wishing for his goodness of course)

What can I do…? It’s all done. I’m so damn! eehhh…….
‘nyways, he’s a year and a half older that me… Old enough to understand…

"Don't you find it magical, that in a world filled with people, God found ways for us to be friends? And, I'm so glad, for when He wrote my life, He included you..."

-a message from him that I also wanna share unto you, a message that I’ve waited since I’ve heard from our co-officers that he resigned as Corps Commander and left the UNIT ( almost 4 years ago) for a reason that I don’t know. What ever is the reason, surely just like me, it’s also a part of his soul searching….

PEACE be with us all!!! Have a nice day! =)


Vocabulary:

Kuya: older brother

Ate: manang / older sister

1106 CDC that’s located in Davao City in where we belong composed around 24 Cadet Officers from 7 Universities I think…

Then I found out..even uniform turns blue and soon will fade to white...