Can't hear him cried for help...

He stood as a father to Jesh since birth -a good father. I am not supposed to tell you this but I think it will help…

Passed 1 o’clock in the afternoon, Monday of this week when I went to Villa Funeral Homes, right after knowing that Uncle Bebot passed away due to heart failure the night before... His body wasn’t there anymore and so I proceed to their home…

I went upstairs and I saw Jesh approaching… She looked so wan and pathetic. She hugged me so tight telling, “‘la na si papa best, sala jud nako ni tanan…” (She’s blaming her self for the lost of her father). I can feel her chest quickly moving back-and-forth… It’s a burst of agony that I couldn’t help but to release my feelings… I’ve felt that way before and I really really hate it…

“If only I didn’t left him downstairs, maybe he’s still alive...He told me that he can’t ease to see mama crying… He told me that he loves me and mama so much but he can’t allow himself to reach the dawn. He’s loaded with alcohol but definitely not drunk at all… I forced him to just relax and sleep but he shouted and told me to just leave him alone. I never thought he’ll really do that… It’s so unfair, he’s just watching my steps…Just steps…” Jesh said.

Even I, can not believe that he can do that thing… He’s a strong father as I’ve known him since high school. Aunt and he treated me as their 2nd daughter.

Jesh immediately went down after hearing that kinda big thing quickly hit the floor… Then she saw him kneeled with a rope passing through that wood tied on his neck and the other side was tied on his hands, seemed held so tight and pulled strongly... Jesh tried to save him and called out for help but things went helpless…

According to Jesh that she just arrived that night (She’s working in Davao City for the whole weekdays). She admitted that they’re really of great financial problems lately, “..all were sold out.”.

Lemme just share it:

“The person who attempts self-destruction is involved in an intense emotional and psychological struggle concerning an overwhelming frustrating life situation. The suicidal act is the final and the most desperate attempts have been recognized as motivated by the desire to attract attention to the person’s distress and need for help rather than by deep-seated self-destructive impulses. By his actions, the individual may get the assistance and emotional supports he needs from relatives and friends because they arouse feelings of anxiety, guilt, and fear of what may happen to the patient. They may bring about changes in the life situation which help to resolve the patient’s overwhelming problem.”

-Manfreda & Krampitz: Dynamics of Suicide. Psychiatric Nursing 10th Edition, p. 282.

He ended his life but their problems weren’t solved plus the legacy of pain… Things are so unfair…

Just like you maybe or any other individuals, I also almost reach that madness several times during my younger years… But, moments didn’t allow things to happen… The reason behind!? To let me see how wonderful life is..- that I’ve been given a chance to share something unto you..now….

Life is precious and happened only once…